Tuesday, October 31, 2017

It's Been A While...And Here Are My Current Thoughts And Struggles

Well, I've been at home sick for four years now. I have Stage IV Breast Cancer and Diabetes. I still get tired quick even though I am much, much better now. The doctor is seeing me less and less because things are going so well. I don't have a car anymore, and I am pretty slow now (according to my girls, I always was!), so not sure the bus is the best option for me, but it's so crazy out there now. I feel like I can't defend myself properly if needed. And I never really was much of a fighter, but now I definitely feel more vulnerable now than I did when I wasn't sick. I don't know, I may just get real serious again about exercising and getting stronger, maybe that will help all the other stuff I feel vulnerable about.

So, here it is... I need to get serious about getting myself back in good shape and then maybe I can get back to a real job. Hopefully, I will be able to afford insurance or even be able to get some when I am able to work again. Seeing how things are going, the pre-existing conditions may cut me off if 45 gets his way and they make so many roll backs and changes to the Affordable Care Act that it will make it out of reach for those of us who actually need it! I surely hope not! Or maybe I will win the lottery! Yeah, right... I don't even find the time to get one ticket...EVER. Or even better, maybe I can find some way to make some real money at home. Though you must be disciplined to do that I am sure. If it is something I love, I am sure that won't be a problem. But what? I am already looking into some things I've seen. Or I should say, my sister is looking and signing up for stuff, and then I get to see that and maybe help her with it. But she shares the information of the things she thinks will help her get a side income and so I get to see that without the added expense most of those things seem to require before you can learn more about them. I am very lucky to have that opportunity, but geez, I don't take much advantage of it. Maybe because its what she is interested in or I am just hoping for the wrong things? Not sure about why I don't. It's confusing to me. In this situation, I thought I would jump on it. But I do not.

So, I guess being diabetic also I should also get more serious about how I eat. My nurse keeps saying eating green is best. She is seriously very picky and weary about what she eats (but still just bought McDonald's too so...surprised I am!). I have also been told by another nurse that I actually eat much better than most others that she has worked for (or with) before. So that is good news. I do get on my sprees where I eat what I want or lots of the bad stuff. Not that it is an excuse, but I ate very well before I got Breast Cancer. I mean I really did eat better after my diagnosis of Diabetes. It scared me so I ate very differently and found that my lactose intolerance dropped away when I ate the new way. And keeping my blood sugars under control on the same dose of Metformin until maybe late 2016, I was doing very well. But I fell off the wagon and just ate as I pleased. Hopefully, my breast cancer did not hinder my ability to control my blood sugars, because I am still struggling with it now. It is better, but not where it should be still, and jumps up here and there. Now I get crazy bored eating more green and tired when I stand to prepare it so there is my struggle or my Achilles heel in this whole thing. So I tend to do well for a while, then slowly drop off. But I bounce back and forth quite a bit recently. Though I think I am on more than off since I realized it was so off track.

I want to make eating green easy and more enticing yet, affordable because I am on a limited income now. And get back to some real exercising. I hate being so tired so quickly and that will also help my blood sugars too. When I was walking daily it really helped and I was losing weight again. But now it's cold and I can't go walking. I guess I could walk the stairs in my house, lol. Boring! Or I should pull out those old VHS tapes and get to trying to do those. But, gotta ask the doctor first! I normally wouldn't but fragile bones means I really shouldn't skip that part. So I will do that on my next visit this week at my chemo treatment. And walk in the meantime around my house and do some Physical Therapy exercises I have for now.

I guess this was a dump all my current thoughts post. Confession time of the things I need to change. I welcome your comments, but I have had some spammers recently and so I needed to turn on moderation of the comments so they won't show up until I look at them now. But I will get an email when one in submitted. I hope to get back in the habit of checking those emails and posting more often too.

Oh and...

HOW ABOUT THEM CHIEEEEEFFFSSS!!!! YEAH! TAKE THAT BRONCOS!!!