Sunday, October 21, 2007


I've been kinda mopey today. Feeling down and, lonely? No, not lonely. My girls where here most of the day and the grand baby too. I just feel weird. I not real sad but down a little bit. I have needed a lot of rest lately and I actually got some today. I did nothing. I was so happy to make it to my kickboxing class again today, but it was cancelled. Well. I was looking forward to that.

I still don't want to do anything around here either and I start and then quit! I can't stand it. I feel like I need help but I don't want to ask for it. I feel like I should be able to do what I need to do around here too. With out any one's help. Its my place, I should be able to take care of it! But I am very slow at changing in that area. I'm not even online as much as I used to be and I still haven't done much of what I need to do around here. Maybe I should just admit my life is unmanageable in this area and get working to apply my program here....hmmm. Maybe that's a start.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Feeling good about me today!

Boy! Finally it is slowing up a little. My workload is increasing but, I am getting a start of a good flow. Still going pretty fast but I feel like I can keep up now! I wish my speed would improve sooner, I always do! My job is a very manual job, lots of manual stuff! I am so used to everything automated. So I am very slow at it. I don't get how my support does it so quickly! I really don't but she has done it for many years and I am just starting to do it, so I really can't compare to her at all!

My support is an older retired woman, she loves doing payroll, and she is very good at it! She is having a very hard time letting go of it. I don't know how long she's been doing it before I got there. But she is seriously fast and has the flow down. I think I had a hard time letting her go too, I enjoy working with her. And I've not had an office before, its tucked away from everyone and I do enjoy her company. I want her to work with more often, but I do have to be able to do the payroll alone, she likes taking trips and I can see she will not be around very much at times. When she wants off, she will take off!

I felt so good when today I got to a point I wanted to reach prior to going home! And my limit was 7pm. I made it! Right on the dot! I've been trying to make it week after week, and finally I've made it! I am still slow but I made my first goal! Now I can improve upon it! I hope tomorrow goes as well as today. I can be checking my work by the end of the day and not stay so late! That's tomorrow's goal. I will need to go in early to accomplish it I think, so that's what I'll do. I did a lot of praying too today, for the ability to do my job as I need to!

Today, I am grateful for:

  • the job my God gave me! I still love it!
  • My dogs who love me so much, and are so glad to see me when I finally get home!
  • the little Mexican restaurant near my home! I love their tacos.
  • My grand baby! He's so beautiful.
  • My kids, they love me so much too!
  • My Partylite candles
  • The good feeling I got for reaching my goal tonight!
  • God meeting my needs, and giving me the ability to take care of me!
  • My willingness to change. God granting me the ability to change!
  • My time here!
  • Enough money for my bills
  • My Internet connection
  • My troubles, they help me grow.
  • My car! My small gas tank!!!
  • My TV!
  • Exercise that makes me feel great!
  • Wanting to break a bad habit!
  • My favorite foods in the fridge!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Slowing down!

Today I am staying home! I still have a lot going! But I am staying home and taking care of home today! I am going to my Sunday School Class and the one tonight! But the rest of the day is for home! I'm feeling very tired but good about me today.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Running - Running - and more running!

Well, since my last post I am still working late sometimes. Its lightened up but now I am just doing too much outside of work. I want to do everything with everybody and I am wearing myself out! I need to just relax and do nothing. Or catch up on some things I need to be doing!!! Like housework! Handling my finances better! Relaxing!!! Okay, that's my update! I gotta go to bed now!