Thursday, August 30, 2007

Tired, tired, tired!!!!

Phew! I am a tired Mammasita!!! Just saw the grand baby after a long day at work! He was quiet and ready to pass out - like me! Good night!

Happy HNT!!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Back Online BABY!

OMG! I am finally back online again! AT HOME! I started my new job on the sixth of August! I have been so busy and tired. Long hours (for right now) heavy workload. No time to surf at work anymore! I am really liking this!!! Well, I am again really tired so it will be a very short post. All is going well. I am glad I dont' think I do not need my meetings. Though, with such a few dealings that trouble me, I am at a loss of what to share. I guess I think it needs to trouble me to share it!

I really enjoy my new boss, she's great. I like the fact that she is allowing all of us to increase in skills here. And she is there as often as we need her. She is very very busy herself.

My BF's birthday is today! He didn't want to do anything special. I think he may have wanted to see me but he didn't ask. My end-of-the-day did not go well and I ended up staying late! Wah! Checks to get out!

Okay, what's troubling me is: I am so tired I do nothing around the house! Nothing! No Avon, no chores, nothing! I did finally get the grass cut! Tonight! I paid someone to do it! FINALLY! Well, one good thing was done around the house!

Oh, and I went to the Chiefs game last week!!!! We sucked but I had fun!

Okay gotta go to bed! Bye!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Tidbit post...

The Chiefs are playing today!!! Yeah! Football is back!!! I love it! I'm going to hang with the girls and see the G-Baby! Its been two weeks! I've been so busy with my new job and late hours, learning and getting familiar with my duties there! I haven't seen my man either. He has a friend in town too and so he's busy. Anyway, I'll see both sometime this weekend. I am very tired. I need to adjust my sleeping patterns. I guess the heavier workload is not what I am used to. I need to take time to sleep as I need to. My body is telling me to change my patterns and I am fighting it but, I think I'd better not. My body is winning this time. I have a longer drive to and from and in this 100+ or - heat! That is probably what is getting me so tired - the heat! Daily high 90's and humidity. Its a weird thing that I do. I have a car which has AC, but do I use it? No! I am trying to conserve gas and the AC does run it down. Maybe, I will change that now too. Gas has dropped a bit in price but I still have lots of catching up to do with my bills yet!!! I see a lot of us are getting this heat too so I am not alone! I'm really liking the new job I have to step up the exercise too! It is helping! I'll be so glad to get my DSL back! Soon! I still miss every one!!! Hope to read you soon - still!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Romans 8:28 coming to pass!!!

Things I feel I need to work on are steadily popping up here recently. I have the urge to help and to keep offering the help even if I am refused. My bf has gone thru some things lately that he needed to handle and I wanted to help instantly! And I was actually surprised at myself for feeling so strong an urge to help. But thank God for my program because I was in a struggle with myself! And it really is a struggle. At least the logic of the program is winning a majority of the time. And my bf doesn't want me to help him in certain areas. He doesn't want to be dependent on anyone is the feeling I'm getting. So I feel blessed to know him. It benefits me for him to be the way he is!

I'm in such wonder that I can leave it alone so much sooner than I actually feel I could do before! You know God is so good to me and I do keep asking for His help on a much more constant basis. Although not as constant as I feel it should be, I know I am improving. And asking for His forgiveness faster when I do opposite as He's directed me. Or when I don't trust Him as I know I can! He's proven himself over and over to me and there are things I've seen Him do for me what could only be His hand in those situations. But still I need to be redirected many times. I do feel it is a good balance of disobedience and obediance to the spirit! That may sound funny, but I really feel His presence and direction in my life recently. Like an Al-Anon dad says, "When you give it up, God shows up!" And that is definately the case in many of my recent situations.

So my struggling so much will ease up for me some now. Still there are things(one major) that I need to handle that God has given me clear direction on and I am being hard head. So if you are into praying for folks, lift me up on this situation. Its not my only situation, but it is currently the most important one right now. But you know, I've recently run into an old friend who has the ability to help me in that area and that actually may make it much easier for me to go ahead and handle it with his help. And this situation brings up a trust issue with me. I won't move due to trusting people with my financial information and their help. I really don't like anyone in that area of my life! Not even when I needed assistance and had to apply to get it. I don't care who it is, I hate giving up information about me. Funny...and I'm doing a blog! LOL!

Another friend I recently told about my new job had told me something very informative when I was complaining about the job I was leaving. I'd mentioned that I wished I had focused more on finding a job sooner than I did. I could have been gone sooner. She said "No, God had His purpose for you being there. It came right when He wanted you to have it, in His time. What did you learn?" And she said it with such authority and waited for my answer! She was right. Another friend had recently said something similar to me when I said I was still looking. He'd said, "How can you be trusted with more when you don't treat this job correctly? You need to do right for your current job first!" Not in those exact words, but that was the gist! And now I'm on the way up! Once again. And the skills gained here actually were what the next employer found most interesting. The very skills I felt I did not need for my career is all I was asked about at each interview! I started seeing all my thinking had been wrong concerning what I needed!!!! Isn't that funny?!

My attitude change towards my job made it bearable to do...the bonus at work I didn't except helped me to get a car...getting the car put an end to limiting myself to only seeking jobs nearby within my city....with my car I was able and willing to apply to jobs further away that I did not even consider....who needed the skills I was currently using!

Lord, thanks for being there for this hard-head chick! Just really thankful for all my situations because I really see them coming together for my good! Bad and Good ones! All of them worked out for my benefit in the end.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

New Job!!! New chapter in recovery!

Yeah! New job! I'm loving it. I wanted into a different area of accounting and I'm finally there! It is going to have an effect on my Thursday night meeting but I'll make it. I may only be late or not be able to attend for a while! Wah! I will be able to continue with the Friday meeting.

My dad's birthday just passed and it was fun, Strouds is a good place to eat around here. They are famous for their fried chicken. It was very good this time. Father's Day it needed to be less greasy. But the chicken was excellent Thursday.

It has been a bit of a struggle with all the stuff lately going on. It has been a test of a few of my traits I needed to work on in my recovery obviously. I just realized I needed the work when things started happening around me. I wanted to help out a friend and he isn't allowing it. But its good for me, and I know that, but I still wondered why isn't he letting me help? I did have to work at letting it go. I offered help and it wasn't needed. Anyway, I know I need to work on me in that area. I did understand that it was good he didn't want me to help and wanted to handle his stuff himself, but I felt the pull within me to keep pressing to help! It was pretty strong! Kinda shocking!

I'm glad today that I can recognize that and stop myself from continuing on! And causing some turmoil. I still do certain things that I know irk my friend. I do offer and then say stupid crap that I know needed to not be said. I need to learn to say I'm sorry for that. I haven't. Anyway I'm still happy with me in my recovery. And its only been two years, going on my third!