Monday, April 24, 2006

Letting go...

I mentioned in the last post about having a hard time with my anger and rescuing... It did linger a little bit this past week. Every time someone mentioned him or I knew my daughter was talking to him, I got angry. I decided to share with a lady friend via email. She suggested I give him over to God. Man! Why didn't I just think if that? So simple. But very hard to do. I did pray for protection of the baby and my daughter. Not that anything is happening. Just did so to feel comfortable. So I did this with him too. Well I did this probably Monday, I didn't realize until Thursday that those feelings were gone! All gone! I hadn't thought about it or anything until the meeting Thursday night. It worked! I know how I am to handle things most times, but when it comes to giving it up or letting it go and let God, I usually need to be reminded! Her suggestion helped me so much! She also could relate having been in a similar situation.

This past Sunday we had a guest speaker at our church. He was excellent! He spoke on relationships, sexual issues and gave his own testimony. His story is pretty interesting. Anyway, I've not heard anyone speak so openly on sexual issues before. Of course, he did not do this at our church, there was a CD with an interview he did on those topics. Very good by the way. Nothing I EVER would have asked any pastor or minister - EVER! I will leave you with a link to his site. I think he's great! His name is Sy Rogers. I've not heard someone be so open about their past sexual history as he was in church. I've only heard that in meetings really. He did talk about acceptance within the Christian community of those whom we know are in lifestyles that are not accepted by the church. Basically, we don't know how to begin to share Christ in a loving and accepting way to those who are currently living in sin. Our approach is usually wrong. Instead of just trying to win a debate, we should just share Christ, not try to prove who is right! I got a lot out of this speaker this Sunday, and acceptance is just the beginning!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

New life and old ways

Before this baby came, I was dreading his arrival. I just didn't feel the motherly or grandmotherly instinct kicking in. I could wait forever for him to come. Well, it did kick in! And, now I am fine after sleeping thru the night again. I don't mind holding him while he is waiting for a bottle and not very quiet! I feel the wanting to serve and help pulling me all the time now.

I sure did have quite a problem this past Friday. I wanted to take control of a situation that I probably couldn't have helped anyway. My daughter was having a hard time with the father of the baby and she instantly called me for help. Of course, I tried to jump in to action. But I think God had another plan, as soon as I figured out that I couldn't go anywhere (my car keys where suddenly lost), the situation was solved without my input. I wanted into that situation so badly, extremely bad! My need to rescue her kicked in like before when she would call on my help, and, when I did try to help, it didn't help at all. Things calmed down, but my input was never really received. And if I really think about it, I was trying to tell them how they should be or how they should act. I wanted them to change their thinking and that clearly was not going to happen. I do remember seeing that while I was talking to them. I am beginning to think that we are dealing with someone who isn't mentally well. The things he does just don't make any sense at all. And I just hope things do not escalate.

Even after the situation was resolved, I kept it going in my head, worrying and wondering what was next. I was talking to my sister who kept stopping me from continuing on. She kept saying it wasn't my problem, she must deal with that. And I knew she was right, who knows what I would do once I had arrived there. I was very angry that there was any trouble at all. It just didn't make sense. But I did need someone telling me I couldn't do anything and she was going to have to resolve it, not me. So it eventually helped. I stayed on the phone until I could let it all go or accept it. Then I still didn't find my keys until it was time for my meeting that evening! Isn't that amazing! I found them exactly when I needed them!

At the meeting, many of us had trouble that day, or this past week. We were all talking about an eventful week...So I really wasn't alone. I can't say that it felt good to know that, but it does feel good that others understand and I feel support just in that fact!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Yes! He's finally here! He arrived last week. April 5th. That is where I've been! He is such a cutie pie! This little boy was a lot of work on his mom. Poor thing, she can't take much discomfort and it took him a while to get here and she was very uncomfortable during the whole thing. Nothing really seemed to comfort her well enough. But she's made it and now he's here. I am rather speechless at this time or tired. So I will just have to write more later! There were so many ups and downs during the labor. I just really don't feel like going into it all. Everything is fine - everyone is doing good and it is all said and done! Hasta Luego!