Monday, January 23, 2006

Serene Week but Stuff still happening...

What a week!!! This past week was very peaceful and serene. I got quite a bit done at work, which had not been happening lately. I couldn't concentrate very well last week!

Anyway, I got some really uplifting music this past Sunday and it has made all the difference in my interactions with happenings around me. It is some gospel music by Yolanda Adams - Day by Day. It has a song on it 'Victory' from the movie "The Gospel". I never did see the movie but this song captured my attention just hearing it on the commercials! It is excellent! So they are tracks numbered 1, 7, & 8 that are my favorites. The first is 'Victory', then 'It's Gon Be Nice' which talks about trusting God for the things in the future and His plan for your life, and mentions letting things go and trusting God to handle it. Then there is 'Be Blessed' which is talking about praying for a friend that God will be there for them. I feel so uplifted when I hear this music and it does remind me to remember God is in control - Not me! I can't know what He has in store for me but if I just trust Him and live according to His word, He will not fail me! It won't always be easy or fun, but I have to keep on stepping praying, trusting, and believing He is in control.

This has helped me to better accept what is constantly going on around me. My daughter, who is pregnant, and her boyfriend broke up. She seems to have felt threatened but it has recently changed. So I hope she was just mad at him and things actually will not escalate into any violence. But I lived the same way and I guess they need to make their own decisions and go through things on their own. Too bad they won't learn from my mistakes! Maybe they will now see how to better handle things. That is what I am hoping anyway....

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I'm back! And what a week!

Well, so much for returning on Sunday, I felt horrible the rest of the day. Chatted with a friend in one of my groups whom I actually have a lot in common with and didn't realize it but I do. And they have a Godly side to them too which did show a lot in the meetings. They along with other things that happened made me realize that what I have gone thru is necessary for me to help others. I do forget that sometimes. I was listening to another person tell about her experience in church and she was very, very depressed and wondered, "When is my morning coming???" Mentioning the scripture which says, "Sorrow endures for the night, but joy comes in the morning." She is in bad health, in pain, and it seems like it isn't getting better. But I did relate with her in the happenings in my life. It seemed like nothing was going any better for me either for the last six months of the year!!!! Seven actually. Then, God placed a few things in my path to where I would need to tell what has happened to me and how I got thru it so someone else could see there is hope. Or their morning will come, my situation is more easily seen than hers but the point is you must cling to and trust in God, we don't know His purposes, His ways, why we must endure the things we go thru sometimes before we make it to His intended ending or place for us. Or just to make it to where we feel comforted by Him. But we prayed for her and many of us just said a few words of encouragement before leaving. I wondered all week about her.

The past week was very up and down for me. I was happy but in pain, Monday, my new space at work is isolating me from my department and I am not liking it but still getting used to it. New neighbors are the IT dept, they are cool, but they don't talk too much. I do have one neighbor whom I can chat about games with at any given time. He's pretty cool but pretty doggone busy too! I hear him working all day long on the computers, if it weren't for them making noises, I wouldn't know he was there. I was complaining so much this week that I had to check myself and just be grateful for what I have there. I shouldn't let things like what where happening get to me. I just need to adjust and keep moving, grumbling only makes things worse and there isn't anything I could do about these various situations anyway. Absolutely nothing! So that is what I did.

I also went out with a bunch of Mexican women, who are very new acquaintances of mine. I met them thru a friend at work. I've never gone out in such a large group of women outside of my own family. They are very entertaining!!! To say the least! I know three very well and the others are those I am getting to know...I met most thru the bible study group they had going at once. One had a birthday and we went out to eat and celebrate!!! We sang kareoke in Spanish!!! It was a Mexican bar, tiny place and they had nothing but beer there, pop and water. Beer! Gross! What kinda place was that !!!! I don't go out much to places like that at all, or bars for that matter, but these ladies, when they get together they want to go cut up! They are fun and they are all older than me. Forties thru their sixties, and I can't believe the way they act!!! Locas!!!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Sunday Blues

Boy, today I feel like crap! I had a good time at church this morning but I feel bad! I am headachy today. I had a candle party yesterday and did pretty good. I still have quite a few orders to get for my credit too, so maybe, it will be even better! Wow, I think I will stop and come back to post later I need rest! Stay tuned...

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Work Year Begins

Boy, things are going so slowly this morning, I think no one wants to be here. Half of us are in a dark mood and the others are very quiet. Geez, folks let's get with the program! Be happy! Be Joyous! Be thankful we have jobs to go to!!! Let's laugh a little bit! The link is a geeky site I was introduced to by my new cubicle neighbor, one of the IT guys here at work. Funny if you understand geekspeak!

Monday, January 02, 2006

Update on my life now!!!!

2005 was just not a very good year to me emotionally. My long time boyfriend and I split up. Our girls are in college, one is about to have a grandbaby, I lost both my grandmother and my Mom, my car is a wreck (but at least still running) and the holidays were extremely tight and very hard to go thru this year without Mama. That is this year in a nutshell.

It did cause me to get closer to God, start attending Al-Anon & CodA meetings. And just work on changing me. I am feeling lots better and have quite a few really good new friends and plenty of people to go out with now. I am keeping busy. Probably still too busy at times but I am at least having some fun now too. I have met some really great guys I dated. Totally different than what I have been used to in the past.

So for that I am greatful. I have more peace and sanity now than I have had in a long time. I can see God moving in my life more again and I was missing that or just not seeing it. I know he didn't just leave me out there, he did let me have what I wanted, even though it was not good for me. But I see now how all this definately had to happen and how God is fixing me up and helping me change.

And all these changes at once are quite hard. I don't handle alot of the changes very well sometimes, but I am beginning to feel more comfortable with changes now than ever before. And the most amazing thing is, I can accept them better and trust God on its benefits without knowing what they are yet. God is really teaching me to trust in him more than I have ever done before. And that has been scary for me, but necessary. I thank God for the changes and just pray for the strength for each day as it comes.

I am a little hesitant for posting this online for the world, but I don't believe the world will be reading it anyway. Just some of the world. And the really involved items will probably be kept in confidence within my journals. So as not to hurt anyone I have rantings about. Not sure how often I will be posting but hopefully alot more than before, weekly should be a good start. Maybe more often in the beginning since I really need to catch up. Or catch the readers up. Hope you keep checking me out and I hope you gain something from my reflections that might help you even in the smallest of ways.

Thanks for reading...