Things I feel I need to work on are steadily popping up here recently. I have the urge to help and to keep offering the help even if I am refused. My bf has gone thru some things lately that he needed to handle and I wanted to help instantly! And I was actually surprised at myself for feeling so strong an urge to help. But thank God for my program because I was in a struggle with myself! And it really is a struggle. At least the logic of the program is winning a majority of the time. And my bf doesn't want me to help him in certain areas. He doesn't want to be dependent on anyone is the feeling I'm getting. So I feel blessed to know him. It benefits me for him to be the way he is!
I'm in such wonder that I can leave it alone so much sooner than I actually feel I could do before! You know God is so good to me and I do keep asking for His help on a much more constant basis. Although not as constant as I feel it should be, I know I am improving. And asking for His forgiveness faster when I do opposite as He's directed me. Or when I don't trust Him as I know I can! He's proven himself over and over to me and there are things I've seen Him do for me what could only be His hand in those situations. But still I need to be redirected many times. I do feel it is a good balance of disobedience and obediance to the spirit! That may sound funny, but I really feel His presence and direction in my life recently. Like an Al-Anon dad says, "When you give it up, God shows up!" And that is definately the case in many of my recent situations.
So my struggling so much will ease up for me some now. Still there are things(one major) that I need to handle that God has given me clear direction on and I am being hard head. So if you are into praying for folks, lift me up on this situation. Its not my only situation, but it is currently the most important one right now. But you know, I've recently run into an old friend who has the ability to help me in that area and that actually may make it much easier for me to go ahead and handle it with his help. And this situation brings up a trust issue with me. I won't move due to trusting people with my financial information and their help. I really don't like anyone in that area of my life! Not even when I needed assistance and had to apply to get it. I don't care who it is, I hate giving up information about me. Funny...and I'm doing a blog! LOL!
Another friend I recently told about my new job had told me something very informative when I was complaining about the job I was leaving. I'd mentioned that I wished I had focused more on finding a job sooner than I did. I could have been gone sooner. She said "No, God had His purpose for you being there. It came right when He wanted you to have it, in His time. What did you learn?" And she said it with such authority and waited for my answer! She was right. Another friend had recently said something similar to me when I said I was still looking. He'd said, "How can you be trusted with more when you don't treat this job correctly? You need to do right for your current job first!" Not in those exact words, but that was the gist! And now I'm on the way up! Once again. And the skills gained here actually were what the next employer found most interesting. The very skills I felt I did not need for my career is all I was asked about at each interview! I started seeing all my thinking had been wrong concerning what I needed!!!! Isn't that funny?!
My attitude change towards my job made it bearable to do...the bonus at work I didn't except helped me to get a car...getting the car put an end to limiting myself to only seeking jobs nearby within my city....with my car I was able and willing to apply to jobs further away that I did not even consider....who needed the skills I was currently using!
Lord, thanks for being there for this hard-head chick! Just really thankful for all my situations because I really see them coming together for my good! Bad and Good ones! All of them worked out for my benefit in the end.
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