Well, this week was a really bad week! I thought it was going better at my job and then I was slammed with it all on my own during (of all things) month-end and a holiday pay week, new people, new jobs, and what else could we throw in???!!!! NOT FUN! NOT FUN! But VERY much a learning experience!
I miss my meetings, I kept thinking what am I gonna share? I am so tired at times I can't think. But who cares? I can share that! I miss seeing everyone! I miss releasing my pressures, which I am doing but not to recovering folks! LOL! The outsiders are getting my pressures!
And I notice one recurring behavior that I am not keeping a grip on...that is saying, NO. I don't say it but that is what I'll do. I won't do it or not show up, or avoid them. Or something to that effect. But where that has changed is at work. I do know my limits there and they are quickly voiced. But outside of that, there is no point where I have said NO unless I was seriously tired and just not willing to do anything more. I think it should come before I reach that point, but I'm still working on it! I need to get back into the habit of exercising, and I am eating a little better(but I still could do better), and doing my daily readings, both recovery and in the spiritual department. Although, I guess they are both really one and the same!!! But you know what I mean, bible readings and recovery program readings. I miss them all! I do read on the weekends in the mornings, but most of the time I am distracted it seems, and its just not the same.
And, I keep offering help that I should not be offering. Well, let me rephrase that. I keep getting ready to offer help that I should not be offering. In the case of my bf, I tend to offer it at times but then I stop. I got spending happy to with my new found breathing room due to my new job. I did handle and am still handling a few fires and mountains I'd built, but it is calming down and I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel now. But I did get me a few new pairs of shoes, sandals and I need more clothes for work! I spend more on my electronics than anything else besides food! And my clothes I tend to not want to spend a lot of money on. But my hours are such that I can't make it to any thrift stores at this time and that is where I want to go! I've recently heard of a few good ones lately I need to check out!
I go home, pass out, then get up and go the next day! Five days a week! So I'm not doing anything at home either! I'll be glad when I get a routine and get back exercising so I won't be so tired and gone so long anymore! And that will start tonight with a new kickboxing class at church!!! That'll get me going!!!
The G-baby is here!!!! Gotta go!
Today I am thankful for:
My beautiful grand son who will be here so I can get new pictures of him for my cell phone!!!
The ability to finally pay off some debt, replace my printer with a new one, get new stuff, etc.
The opportunity to get fit and not have to pay for a class! My church is offering free kickboxing classes! One is on-going and the other is a 12 week class of basics.
To have so many old and new friends around me and wanting to hang out! So I get to do many different things! A nice variety of things!
My health, the willingness to start caring for me and the ability to see when I need to make a move!
My car!!!
My church!!!
My recovery friends and those who care about me and want to see me succeed!
My blogosphere family!!!! I miss you guys too...Thanks for sharing!
2 comments:
Good to hear from you, yes I think maybe they are hitting smoking too much but drinking which I reckon is more deadly is being treated as not so severe.
A bit of a tecky geek, so am I, got a bedroom full of computers and am always on the lookout for more stuff, love reading computer mags, in fact I think I am addicted to them.
THE I2 STEPS DOWN TO HELL
I imagine 12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with this evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the power of Jesus Christ. He directed me to a therapist who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight. I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their individuality & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda. I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one never recovers'. I beg you people who are in 12 Step programs, to get out before it is too late.
How does one recover when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti - Christ propaganda.
Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given. Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God." He further explains: Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him. Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him. Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making BEDPAN]. Can you see what is happening to you, Michael? Ask Jesus to take control of your lives, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. Burn your Big Book or use it as toilet paper. Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, you never recover but with John 3:16 you are guaranteed Eternal Salvation. The “ball is in your court”, Michael?
Peace Be With You
Micky
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