My New Life is so good!

Life is good. I love where I am at today in my new life in recovery. I have new friends who understand me and my craziness, listen to me, but still tell me what needs to be said. And I can accept it and see my part in it. Where I may be wrong and right. Usually where I was wrong! LOL! I love to be still learning and learning to be in a normal relationship. I know not completely normal, but very different than what I was used to. It shows sometimes too that I am not accustomed to being treated the way SS treats me. He sees it, but I don't know if he realizes it. But he is surprised at times by how I think. It hasn't happened lately enough for him to see, but its there. Anyway, life is good. I am having a good time. Things aren't perfect, but they never are. And I am happy.

I saw the baby tonight, he is just wandering all over the place now. He will be one year old soon. He's such a cutie pie. A gorgeous boy! He's talking baby gibberish too. Lots of it. Life is good.

I mentioned some of my pretty recent past with SS tonight and he was surprised I think. Somehow we got on the subject of my kids and their boyfriends. I told him of a couple of run-ins I've had with them. One where I actually popped one in the mouth and busted his lip. He immediately said, "you could have gone to jail". And, if any woman hit him, they will go to jail. Well! I understand, really. But I was still surprised. I never thought this way when I got hit. Nor did I think that I had that option when I or my girls got into trouble. I thought I was gonna take up for them. Period. No cops. I can handle it. I'll finish it really... It kinda caught me off guard a bit. But that was an option I never realized was even available. That is so strange how I was thinking back then.

Thank God for my program. The more I live and interact with all these new people in my life, those in the program and outside of the program but who do not have similar problems, the more I learn how to live. Hearing it around the tables and living my life in recovery. I am so loving it but so surprised at times by what I am learning. And I guess reflecting on my life in the past. I feel sad that I did the things I did. But I am so happy and grateful that nothing worse happened to me or my girls. I am thankful things smoothed out and I can learn instead of just react to those around me. Not near as much fear is involved anymore. For that I am grateful.

I am so glad to have all these new people in my life. Good or bad. They all teach me something. Today I am so glad to be able to learn from all my experiences and not feel like a victim of my circumstances anymore! God is so good!