Expectations

Well, after talking to a friend in the program, I discovered that I was expecting a certain result....even though the new guy had told me what he planned to do Saturday evening. I thought I was acting on a change in routine from every weekend. I know that was a sign from my last relationship that my ex was cheating. But I do trust the new guy. I don't have any reason to think badly of his behavior. I knew it was me but I couldn't see what in me was bugging me. I know I hated the way I felt this past weekend. I am also used to him calling me daily, and he still does, so if one day is missed, I start thinking something is wrong! And nothing has changed, he's just not contacted me. And I guess I expected it!

Well, it is sometimes hard to see why I am feeling the way I feel. I should have called my sponsor, I didn't think of it. I thought to call no one...it never crossed my mind. That is pretty weird that I did that. I usually think of calling some one when I feel bad. But this time it didn't happen.

Today, I am grateful to discover this about me. And hopefully I can use this knowledge to maintain my serenity. Cause I surely lost it!!! LOL!

Today, I am grateful to the program for helping to discover the things within me that make me crazy! And to be able with the help of my God, to change those things. Or rather, to allow Him mold me. To call on Him and trust He can do it, because I alone cannot!

Today, I am grateful for the friends I have in the program, and their ability to see within me. And to not be critical but accepting of my nuttiness!