Detaching with Love

I have recently had a few times when I needed to badly detach with love. In the instance of my child and her boyfriend troubles, my ex and his girlfriend troubles in which they tried to involve me, my coworker who is very outspoken and seems to want to tell me how to live, these are just a few cases. I am very sure there are even more I just haven't acknowledged yet. This post on detaching with love at Cupcake Monkey's site is so beautiful. And I just love it. Take a look...

http://cupcakemonkey.blogspot.com/2006/06/learning-to-detach-with-love.html

While I am still talking to my ex, it is not quite as often as before, and our conversations are changing to what I might have with those in my own group. Mostly about recovery. I hear him changing his thinking, or trying to change it. I hear more hope. I also hear a lot about what he was doing while he was using! It is shocking but not. He would never tell me any of this prior to me being in recovery. I would pass judgement on him immediately and make him feel badly for it. Now that I have been in the program for a little bit, I am a lot more non-judgmental and compassionate. Not only with my ex (which to me seems very unusually easy given our past) but with those I meet as well. If I know they've had a problem, I listen differently. And this is actually starting to seep into all my other relationships as well. I am so glad, it feels so good. I can handle things now I couldn't handle at all before recovery! I am happier and comfortable with me more so now than ever before, and that feels great!

I am also thankful for God revealing to me that I have an issue to deal with. It keeps coming back up so much and I know I need to deal with it because I don't want to. It makes me upset immediately and I know that I need to handle it - and do it soon, before I blow up on someone. I think I need some professional help and, to me takes a lot to admit. Before recovery, I would never have admitted I needed help, especially professional help, but today I see that I do. Honesty was the topic of the reading in Courage to Change for Friday, the 23rd. Being honest with ourselves. I do still have a bit of reservation revealing what it is I need help with around the tables and even in a one on one discussion with someone in my group. And when I am trying to avoid something, I know it needs to be dealt with. So I plan to seek out that help tomorrow. I don't know if I need to reveal that in my group, but you know, I feel that I do for some reason. Maybe that is the accountability thing I was wondering about...hmmm.

I am so thankful for -- The Victoria's Secret Annual Sale!!!!! :) I am so bad about getting things I need for me. I will wear my clothes til they have holes or they start falling off of me!!! I stocked up today. It was great! My daughter - who loves shopping - asked me to go with her to the sale and I went kinda nuts! I felt bad too afterwards, but not for long. I spent quite a bit, I normally wouldn't spend so much on me anytime I go there but the deals were great and I am happy with my purchases. I need a better job! I want more of that stuff! LOL