As a result of the loss of twin grandbabies, I attend Grief Share classes at my church on Tuesday nights. My daughter does too and my sister. Well, last night we talked about holding on to anger, bitterness, resentments, and forgiveness - all leading to depression. I was trying to identify with what the people on the video were saying. They each said for a time they were angry at God. They were angry at the loved one who died, and held on to their anger. Some took it out on others and some went into depression. I didn't feel those things when my Mom, Grandmother and now the grandbabies passed. As I listened to each one in the group share, I still didn't feel the same degree of anger these people expressed. I did share a few of the prayers they shared. And one was to not harbor any bitterness toward my ex. I kept praying that often in the months following the break up. God answered my prayers.
When my grandmother passed, it was immediately the next day that my Mom went into the hospital. I immediately requested of God, "Please not both of them in the same week!" He waited a couple more weeks before Mama passed. But not once did I get angry with God. I knew she would feel better. She wasn't happy with her condition it made her so uncomfortable to go thru Dialysis three days a week. I'm not saying "How could they be angry", I was trying to identify with them and was wondering why I hadn't felt the same.
When it came time for me to share, I had identified with the lady sitting next to me. Concerning her ex. That relationship ending taught me to rely on God for my support. I hadn't been doing that while in that relationship. Then I'd been lead to attend Al-Anon! And CodA! Which then taught me to "Let Go and Let God". And forgiveness had always come easy for me, always. I can forgive and in almost all cases, forget it. But the tools I used to help me deal and heal with my new life, had helped me handle my losses which still seem non-stop since just before the break up. I didn't feel so bad due to my relationship with Christ, trusting Him to care for me, change what I couldn't change, and Letting go! And sharing with others in group, talking to others in the group, etc, etc. So my tools are reaching into my entire life. And it is so amazing to see God working thru this program in my life. It is truly amazing.
The thing the video kept stressing was anger, when held on to, creates resentments and bitterness. And if not released or dealt with, could lead to depression. And without forgiveness to those who had passed away, for whatever reason one is upset with them about, you hinder your own growth. And hinder your own healing process. Its just all around bad for you. Basically, forgiveness is necessary for our healing and growth. My sister saw herself in the testimonies of those on the video tape. She realized for the first time where and why she is depressed. And stated she knows what to do about it. She needs to work on it!
God is so amazing! So Amazing! I am so glad today to have a God that can change you in an instant. He can reach you where ever you may be at any point in time! God is so good!
No comments:
Post a Comment